I don't know about others, but I'm kinda loving this particular global warming effect on Singapore weather. The usual hot and humid Singapore with high cloud cover has become windy in the afternoon with pretty clear blue sky and cooling (sometimes even cold) with clear starry sky. Yep, starry sky! I have never seen so many stars on a Singapore sky in my 9 years' life here. Mom's pretty happy too with the weather too since the laundry dry faster.
Yes, I'm lovin this weather. I do hope it's not short-lived *crossfingers*
This song has been on repeat on my iTunes for the past few days. I really love it! It has a happy tune and nice lyrics too. First heard of Aqua Timez when they sing the opening song for Bleach. The lead singer reminds me of the lead singer from Home Made Kazoku, only with higher-pitched voice. Cute heheh...
This song is used as the ending song for Gokusen 3. Very apt song for Gokusen series. The drama itself is ok lah. They kinda recycle the story, like Gokusen 2. Some parts are still pretty funny, but I watch mainly for Miura Haruma and for some brainless jokes before school starts and my brain have to be on full force again heh...
Btw if you are a Miura's fan, watch him in Bloody Monday. He acts really well there. He's a pretty good actor for his age IMO. I'm suspecting he'll be the next Oguri Shun. The two of them are so cute together in Binbo Danshi.
In the meantime, I present Niji by Aqua Timez...
Romaji daijoubu dayo miagereba mou daijoubu hora nanairo no hashi yatto onaji sora no shita de waraeru ne
kutsu himo wo musubi naosu toki kaze ga bokura no sanaka wo osu sora ga koboshita hikari no mukou ni ano yume no tsuzuki wo egakou hidari mune no oku ga takanaru kitai to fuan ga myaku wo utsu hontou ni daijoubu kana subete nori koete yukeru kana
daijoubu dayo miagereba mou daijoubu hora nanairo no hashi namida wo nagashi kiru to sora ni kakaru nee mieru desho haruka kanata ni boku nimo mieru kimi to onaji no futatsu no sora ga ima hitotsu ni naru yatto onaji sora no shita de waraeru ne
betsubetsu no sora wo motte umareta kioku wo utsushi dasu sora kimi niwa kimi no monogatari ga ari boku no shiranai namida ga aru moshikashitara boku ga warau koro ni kimi wa naiteta no kamo shirenai nita you na yorokobi wa aru keredo onaji kanashimi wa kitto nai
yakusoku de mirai wo fuchidori kotoba de kazari tsuke wo suru kimi wa tashika na asu wo kitto dare yori hoshigatteta
meguru kisetsu no hitotsu no you ni kanashii toki wa kanashii mama ni shiawase ni naru koto wo isoganai de daijoubu dayo koko ni iru kara daijoubu dayo doko nimo ikanai mada hashiri dasu toki wa kimi to issho
namida no nai sekai nimo sono hashi wa kakari masu ka ? kabe ni kizamareta rakugaki wa dareka no ji ni yoku niteta kanashimi wo toozakeru koto de kimi wa hashi wo kakeyou to shita keredo ima kasa wo sutete me wo tsuburu
daijoubu...
daijoubu dayo miagereba mou daijoubu hora nanairo no hashi namida wo nagashi oeta kimi no sora ni nee mieru desho iro azayaka ni boku nimo mieru kimi to onaji no kizuna to iu na no niji ga kakatta ne soshite futatsu no sora ga yatto yatto hitotsu ni natte bokura wo hashiraserunda
Translation It’ll be okay, just look up It’s okay, do you see the seven color (rainbow) bridge? We can finally smile beneath the same sky
When we re-tie our shoelaces, the wind pushes us forward Let’s continue our dreams beyond the light that spills from the sky My heart beats within my chest, hope and fear pulsate through my veins I wonder if it’s really okay, I wonder if I can make it through it all
It’ll be okay, just look up It’s okay, do you see the seven color (rainbow) bridge? It’s formed in the sky by the tears you shed Hey, I know you can see it in the distance I can see it too, same as you Our two skies now become as one We can finally smile beneath the same sky
We were born with different skies, skies that reflect our memories You have your own story and tears I know nothing about I might have been smiling at the same time you were crying There may be similar kinds of happiness, but I doubt that for sadness
You place a border on the future with ‘promises’ and adorn it with words I’m sure you wanted a guaranteed tomorrow more than anyone
Like a single season that goes by Let your sad times remain sad Don’t rush to turn them into happiness It’s okay, I’m here for you It’s okay, I’m not going anywhere When it’s time to run, I’ll still run together with you
“Would that bridge form in a world without tears?” The graffitti scrawled on the wall resembled someone’s handwriting You wanted to build a bridge to get away from sadness But now I close my eyes and toss my umbrella away
It’s okay
It’ll be okay, just look up It’s okay, do you see the seven color (rainbow) bridge? Look up in your sky that has cried all of its tears Hey, I know you can see it shining brightly I can see it too, same as you The rainbow of our bond has formed And now Our two skies will finally, finally become as one And get us to run
Exactly 9 hours to the new year, tho for the Adventists, we are only 4 hours away from the new year.
So many things had happened, good things as well as bad. Being superstitious, I thought 2008 would be a breeze. But I was wrong. Personally I had the worst, I really mean WORST term of my uni life. I never had felt so scared of failing before. But thank God, tho the grades hurt my GPA a lot, I didn't fail. I'm just crossing my fingers that KPMG won't revoke my contract ^^"
Globally, shit happened too. What with the investment banks crumbling one after another. Studying in a business school, to work in banks or to be an investment banker seemed to be the common dream. Alas, the current the economy dashed some people's hopes. The headlines on the newspaper paint a bleak future. "The economic recession is nigh!" people say, or is it already here? I don't know. I don't really read the newspaper. Well, as they say, ignorance is bliss.
As usual, the pessimistic me always start with the negatives. But yes, there are good things. Small small ones, but many. I can't recall all of them one by one but still, I was and am thankful for them. Thanks to the recency effect, or simply cuz I've short memory, the things I can remember are limited.
Anyways, whenever I'm thankful about something, it always involve my friends. I'm glad I've people that I can complain to, listen to my bitchings and my anxiety. Like during my BSM trip, I'm really grateful for the many new friends made, and a couple of really good friends made. They made the nasty things bearable.
Oh and my bro got married! It's a bit sad tho since it means that when my sis go back to Thailand and my bro lives with his wife, I'll be the only one left for my dad to be ordered around. Sighs... but well, guess I'm happy for my bro since my dad will stop nagging him to get married. Haha... "Hope to see little Tamps soon!" my friend said excitedly. Amen to that.
December was a action-packed. 3/4 of it were spent overseas. It was filled with rush to get from one point to another, thanks to the BSM trip and my bro's wedding. Really exhausting but fun nonetheless. It's also the first time since I hit the big TWO O that I get to spend my birthday in Singapore. I spent it bumming around tho, since I was so tired from the BSM trip.
Oops, I've to go to church soon. So I guess I'll end my post here. I'll tell the stories from my BSM trip and my bro's wedding another time (depends if I don't feel lazy :P).
HAPPY NEW YEARPEEPS!!(:
PS: As a bonus, I'll post up this super nice song titled Niji (Rainbow) by Aqua Timez.
And it shows only a fraction of the SMoo peeps. I've SMoo Indons, SMoo juniors, SMoo bsm etc... and their nicks are pretty much as sad.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I dunno how to title my post, so i'll leave it blank.
School has been horrible. Another test with horrible grade. No horrible doesn't cut it. It's too god-awful, I dunno how to describe it. It's the worst mark I've ever gotten and am sure it's worse than any mark anyone would have ever gotten. It's THAT bad. And then there are never-ending projects and people tend to get cranky when deadlines are nearing, arguments (sometimes unfriendly) becomes abound.
I'm just glad most of my deadlines are over. Left exams and one more report to finish. I can't say I'm proud of the results that I've received so far and I can only cross my fingers for those results that are yet to come.
SY showed me this video from Avenue Q, titled "It sucks to be me". You can Youtube it. Sometimes i do feel it really sucks to be me. Often I ask when things happen, "Why me God?"
Sometimes I feel God is being really unfair. I do admit God grants wishes, but somehow I feel He's only granting small wishes, like when I ask for bus/cab to quickly come. But when it comes to things I really really REALLY want, He doesn't give. And I don't think my wishes are those selfish ones like asking God to make me richer, prettier, slimmer etc. Sometimes I even gave God reasons why my wishes should be granted. And I tell you, those reasons are reasonable.
When things are going really tough, I kinda become determined to be depressed. Refuse to smile, refuse to eat, refuse to be nice to ppl, refuse to talk to ppl and just lock myself in my room with rock music blasting my ears off. Anyways, when ur feeling like shit, it IS a chore to smile to ppl. Maybe I'm doing all that to let people know that I am depressed and that I should be pitied.
But somehow, I find it too troublesome to keep up such acts. And it's kinda like a circular thing, the more I show my depression, the more depressed and frustrated I become. Besides I am grateful for some friends that I have. Grateful for their non-judgemental attitude. "So you failed your tests, so you are a loser, so what?" they say.
I'm glad I can have a good hearty laugh with them without thinking, "Oh no, I shouldn't be laughing. How can I be so carefree when I just failed my test?"
When day-in day-out I'm surrounded with people who are forever bloody concerned with their academic achievements, I'm glad I've friends who can so freely tease one another, "owned" one another, make themselves look super silly and have a good laugh out of it, where I can make a fool out of myself without them looking at me with condescending eyes. Tho I can only enjoy such moments only 1 day out of the 7 days I have in a week, I am really grateful for it.
And yes, tho I do feel angry at God at times, I've to admit He does keep me sane in this crazy world. I do pray that He keeps this optimism in me so I can go through each day, to keep on living.
Ok that's it. I.am.just.so.fucking.pissed.right.now!!!!!!!!!
Left my favorite blue Fila shoes bag, with my AFA book and my brand new shoes inside on Monday night in SESS GSR. Then when i went to check the room on Tuesday morning, it was already gone. Checked with security guards and cleaner aunties, nope, they didn't see any shoes bag. Then asked for CCTV viewing, they "regret to inform you that after carrying out our investigations, we are unable to get any findings on your reported lost items".
Regret my fucking arse! Did you even try? There are 2 bloody CCTVs outside the friggin' room and you tell me you are not able to get anything? HELLOW? Are you all blind? what's the point of having CCTVs if they can't capture the necessary images. Or don't tell me those stupid CCTVs are just there for a show. Wah, so much for the security in Smoo. So much for paying tens of thousands of dollars for the useless facilities (not to mention the suicide-inducing education system)
OMG i am just so dead. i got a bloody AFA quiz next Tuesday and I haven't finished studying and now the book's gone. Just to let you know, it is IMPOSSIBLE to re read everything now that exam's in 2 weeks' time. Oh btw, i failed my first quiz, so I suppose I should just continue my failing streak. Great. Fantastic. My life is so perfect now. Everything's going according to what I want. Woo hoo! HAAAAALLELUJAH!!
PS: To whoever stole my stuff:
I hope you're happy. You have made a girl so friggin happy right now that she's lost sleep, spent day in day out wondering around SESS building, asking strangers here and there to find her precious book. I hope you get ur just dessert. Just don't let me find you. If I do, i'll make sure I slap your face so hard, your face swollen thrice the normal size. If you're a guy, I'm gonna kick your friggin' didi SOOOO HARD that you can say goodbye to your future kids. If you're a girl, hmm that's harder, well at least I'm gonna embarrass you enough that you wish you disappear from the face of the earth. I hope you die a horrible death you KNNCCB!!
Never have I experienced such a tough term in SMoo. Even the word 'tough' is such a gross understatement. True, each of the 6 terms that I've had has been tough, hectic and full of frustration. But this time I really feel like the water is all the way up to my neck.
Bombarded with works and demands left right back centre top bottom. I'm drowning in all these 'things to do' and I have no frickin' idea how to save myself. I don't see anyone in sight that I can shout for help to. No life buoy in sight either. Even the people I regarded as good friends have betrayed me. So bloody frustrating!
I tried to be optimistic, but every time I thought things are going a-ok after all the efforts done, all the late nights, then No, they are actually major flops. Failed tests, failed projects, re-do, more research, more writings to do. Don't people need a life? When the hell all these gonna stop?!? And worst, I'm doing all these for a degree that I don't even want. FUCKIN SHIT i tell u!
"You should thank me that you got into SMoo, where 100% of its graduates a job and they get paid well" he said.
Thank you??? You want me to thank you?!? You gave the least help when I need it the most. And you made those useless comments that you should've just kept in your fucking little shitty mouth. And who cares about money when everyday I just feel like gulping potassium cyanide.
You don't even show a little bit of proudness when I told you I got a job. Not even a tiny little glimmer of proudness. Why? The company not famous enough? Pay not big enough? Job title not zai enough for you to brag to your friends? It's ok. I feel it's not something to be proud of either, not when others can easily get twice or thrice the amount in some swanky big banks with some high-class-sounding job title. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. Never shown you any straight-As report card and the 5 Cs (it's 6 now) that I've collected aren't the same Cs that you want me to give you.
Oh wells, blame myself for being able to be swayed easily, to have believed those empty promises. I guess at the end of they day, I have only myself to blame for all these.
Oh wells, c'est la vie. I'll just have to psyche myself up. Delusion myself that everything will turn out fine. Do my best. Smile. Be happy. Yea, whatever.
Was just wondering. Actually was reading AFA when my thoughts drifted away. It always happen. Anyways, was just wodnering the meaning of having a freedom to choose. The real meaning, of course.
It's funny how preaches always say that God has given us the freedom to choose. It's funny because if we choose to do something that is not in line with what God wants us to do, we suffer a consequence. For example, we can choose to be a goody-2-shoes or be a total jackass. But of course, God will bless the goody-2-shoes and not the jackass, right? Unless of course the jackass repents. But repentance is an entirely different thing and we shall keep this topic short and simple here.
It always happen, to me at least, when I do bad things I will suffer the horrible consequence almost immediately. Really. But I won't give you instances, cuz I ain't proud of my sins. So, if I want good things to happen to me, I have NO choice but to be a good girl right? I mean, who doesn't want good things ot happen to them. Even those super emo kids who claims they don't need God's blessings or good things to happen to them, deep deep down they must long for good things. That's irrefutable.
Ok I know that "God gives rain to both bad and good guys", which implies God's blessings is for everyone. But then again, why do we say "you will get your just dessert" to the baddies? which implies that if we do bad things, we get bad things.
So applying my Analytical Skill, I shall attempt to make a proposition (is it what it's called? can't remember. sold my AS bk already)
Since good things happen to good people, we HAVE to be a good person if we want good things to happen to us.
"Have to" implies a MUST, which implies the lack of alternatives. So... what's that freedom to choose are we talking about again?
泥だらけよ 馴染めない都会で 同じように笑えない うつむいて歩いたの 急ぎ足で すれ違う人たち 「夢は叶いましたか?」 アタシまだモガいている In the familiar, dirty city We walked with our heads down, unable to laugh in the same way People hurry past “Has your dream come true?” I’m still struggling
陽のあたり場所に出て 両手を広げてみたなら あの空 越えてゆけるかな? なんて思ったんだ 飛び立つ為の翼 それは まだ見えない カンタンに 行かないから 生きてゆける I went out to a place where the sun shone and held out my arms And thought “Could I cross the sky?” I still can’t see any wings to fly with It’s because it’s not simple that I can go on living ~ Life by Yui
I listened with amusement to the guest speaker last nite. He's a big shot in a big hotels and resort company.
When he was talking to us, he said we looked so tired (damn right, we were), but he also said we "ain't seen nothing yet." He said working world is way tougher and we better start working hard early. He recalled his experience of having to make calls in the wee hours, working on London hours and coming back to work on sundays and stuff like that.
Then i went to the company's career webpage and one of the advantage of working in that co that the brochures is proudly saying is having a "work-life balance". I'm sure not having enough sleep and forgoing my weekends is part of "work-life balance". T'hat's amusement #1
Then he also said that he didn't work hard when he was young and that he only realised that he should start working hard when he was in his thirties. But earlier he mentioned that he was a scholar who graduated with a law degree.
Uh huh, mister. I'm so sure that getting scholarship and a law degree doesn't require much hardship. I believe you. That's amusement #2
Life is funny right. Oh crap, i better start studying my AFA again and stop complaining cuz I "ain't see nothing yet".
Midterm break next week. But seriously break? What break?!? I'm almost fully booked by my project gpmates. Imagine - 4 major projects, all will be chiong-ed during the term break. Yargh!
Thinkin of buying a new lens for my camera. I like sceneries and I love macros. Um, suggestions?
Gonna read a new book this break. Just borrowed Haruki Murakami's Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of the World from Fels. Man, I love Murakami-san. I wanna marry his fantasies. They're pretty abstruse too, like AFA. But in a good way, very good way, unlike AFA.
Wanna go around snappy happy for one day. What ulu place in Spore that's pretty?
Just a girl trying to (not) make sense of her world.
Here she is, writing down things; it may be lyrics, it may be phrases, it may be experiences, it may be fantasy or dreams. But these are the things she doesn't want to forget. Ever.
